Teenage love; what affects a teenager? A teenager and his first love. The article will shed light on the issues of this life event when advising young people and their parents on the rules of conduct during this period. Adolescent love is the first delightful feeling of self and a great test of their parents’ strength. The younger generation sees everything only in rainbow colors and excellent prospects at this age. As a result, emotionally immature individuals sometimes cannot adequately appreciate their lives’ love situation. Adults need to help them realize that, but they must do what they want with the utmost wisdom.
What does teenage love mean?
First, this question is interesting for parents whose children are growing up. The following signs can determine adolescent love for adults.
Which indicates an event that has occurred?
- Leisure activities outside the home … If a child spent most of his free time playing video games or reading academic literature, he was not interested. In the other case, the teenager will begin to try at every opportunity to leave his mother’s walls in an unknown direction but invent all kinds of reasons. Concerned parents will try to suppress such behavior in their mature offspring, which is not worth doing. As a result, trust between the child and the adult generation of the family will disappear, which will then be difficult to return. You need to make your rebel love how much time he can spend outside the house.
- Secret calls: It has been rare for a teenager to have his own means of communication. Communicating with friends on a mobile phone is not prohibited, so parents were calm about this fact. Their son or daughter could speak with an invisible interlocutor for a long time about various youth matters. At the same time, the children were not afraid of the possibility that their parents could hear their conversation about anything and everything. Suppose adults begin to notice that their child, during a telephone conversation, is trying to leave work or even go out into the street. In that case, everything indicates that he has his first thing for hobbies.
- A request for an increase in allowance … Many parents, often cannot answer the question unequivocally about providing a teenager with a certain amount of personal money. In this case, sympathetic grandparents do not even consider such a request from their adored grandchild or grandchild. However, with time, parents understand that they should allocate a reasonable allowance for the child’s needs. If their grown-up offspring unexpectedly asked for an increase in “salary,” then you should not immediately panic about the appearance of addiction outside their father’s walls. A son who has stopped being a child may need additional money because he has to treat the first lady of his heart with small gifts and take her to the movies.
- Changing Adolescent Appearance … Children usually dramatically change their attitude towards hairstyle and wardrobe during their first romantic feelings for the opposite sex. A period of apparent changes in their appearance begins, which often causes parents to fear what is happening. You should not be afraid of this if everything is within the framework of normality and aesthetically acceptable. Prohibitions on this topic will only provoke protests from a son or daughter. In the future, obedient children can become rebels.
- Declining academic performance … All people in love are in the clouds and pay little attention to what is happening around them. The first romantic feeling is a severe test for a teenager’s not yet fully formed psyche. He is not yet ready to focus on serious things when love experiences cloud his head. As a result, the growing child spends less time preparing for the classroom, and all his previous achievements in this area can deteriorate significantly.
- Changing Your Teen’s Addictions … If your beloved child has been hit with Cupid’s first arrow, the formerly predictable teen can completely change his behavior. The daughter, interested in fantasy films, suddenly begins to get carried away with melodies about great and bright love. After systematically studying the new music of “boys” and spending time on computer games, the son suddenly stops being interested in this. If, with this element, he begins to soar in the clouds when the sound of romantic ballads sounds, then this is a sure sign that the first impression has reached him.
- Parents find birth control … Usually, a caring mother cramps her heart. She takes copious amounts of sedatives when she finds a condom in her “baby” son’s pocket. In this case, experts advise letting the situation run its course and quietly putting the antidepressant in its place. However, it is worth remembering the age limit to begin awareness of this adult side of life. In a family with trust and the teenager is informed about sex, sexually transmitted diseases, and planned pregnancy, there will be no disaster during the child’s upbringing. Alternatively, the situation may reach a critical point, as in the late 1980s Yugoslavian film “Time to Love,” when ignorance of many issues led to disaster.
Attentive parents will never miss the vocal signs of falling in love with their children. Psychologists advise not to panic about teenage love when an event is detected because people of all ages are subject to such a feeling. The child began to develop, and this inevitable phenomenon must be satisfied.
Tips for Teens When They’re First Feeling
If a child first learns what a tender feeling is for a member of the opposite sex, then there is nothing wrong with that. However, unrequited teenage love adolescence is quite common.
It is for this reason that psychologists have developed several tips on how to behave as a child at the new stage of his development:
- Enjoy the occasional childhood … This period of personality formation will never happen again, so you should give thanks for all that will be invaluable life experiences in the future. First, love is a beautiful feeling, a memory that many people keep in their hearts for years.
- Do not dissolve in the person you like … No matter how you want the first passion role in life, you should remember your interests. If you like soul music and the chosen one prefers hard rock, then this is by no means a sign to radically change your preferences. People like to communicate only with those individuals who are themselves in all situations.
- Seek the help of your parents … If the first love is an unmistakable feeling, then you should talk as frankly as possible with the older generation of the family. Please do not be ashamed of your accumulated feelings, because parents with the baggage of their experience understand everything and give good advice. Sometimes it is not even more accessible for grandparents to express themselves, nor should their help and support be rejected.
- Don’t forget your plans for the future … The first impression is not a reason to leave your favorite hobby and forget your studies. Suppose the chosen one responded with mutual sympathy. In that case, respect the developed prospects for the future of the one he liked. Suppose this fact is of little interest to him. Is it worth continuing to communicate with such an indifferent and selfish person?
- Don’t close yourself off … Many people go through loveless love and remember this problematic life in the future with a smile. If the passion role does not return, it must be treated with dignity. New acquaintances and joint leisure with friends will help eliminate gloomy thoughts. Self-flagellation and withdrawal will only worsen the current difficult situation.
- Be careful … Only the teenager decides when he is old enough to have sex. It is not worth rushing with this because often, with a fully formed body, the neuropsychology of a person in love remains at the stage of development and progress. If that chosen one demands intimacy, you should tell him clearly and unequivocally “no.” It means that the person you like does not value other people’s feelings and desires, and you should stay away from him.
Suggestions for parents of teenage love on behavior with a teenager in love
We should never forget, and in all situations, that adults should be the child’s friends, not their guardians. Therefore, they need to think about how to act at the first signs that they are in love with someone in their children.
Prohibit parents when controlling a teenager in love
Some overly caring dads and moms think they are doctors raising the younger generation. Psychologists’ advice on teenage love is not a directive for them, and they make the following mistakes with their children:
- Criticism of the chosen one … Making fun of a child’s choice from a high life experience is an unworthy and illogical act of adults. Parents may resent the worship of their offspring, but this is only a problem for fathers and mothers. Such behavior will only alienate the child from himself because his first impression is sacred and inviolable.
- Valuing Adolescent Empathy … The next extreme for adults is to stubbornly remind the teen that he is not yet mature for a serious relationship. Ideally, these parents want their growing child to play in the sandbox again because they only see him as a toddler. The main arguments of a dictator’s family in such disregard for the feelings of a son or daughter are the phrases “get your passport first” and “finish the school (lyceum) first.” The most devastating arguments would be the arguments of adults of the type “in our time they thought about learning and no-nonsense.”
- Prohibition of communication with the chosen one … One of the most effective ways to eradicate a child’s love is vocal influence. At the same time, it is straightforward to lose the trust of a loved one, and it is almost impossible to change the situation in your favor. The ban will further encourage the stubborn to secret meetings, which can end badly.
- Search for the belongings of a teenager … If the child has matured, then this is not a reason for parents to turn into a professional bloodhounds. It is imperative to control your children so that a period of disenfranchisement does not begin in the family. However, some adults overconfident in their abilities think it’s normal to re-read their offspring’s correspondence on social media and scour their phones and room for incriminating evidence. Any mature person would react angrily to this fact but do not forget that a teenager also has the right to personal space.
Attention! The teenage love mistakes of adults primarily hurt the further fate of their offspring. You cannot make your beloved child happy by force and demand that he behave according to the model of behavior created by the parents. At best, such behavior will end in protests by the youth, and the worst case, with a nervous breakdown and even a suicide attempt.
Correct actions of parents towards a teenager
Suppose parents want to maintain a friendly relationship with their adult children. In that case, they should follow the advice of psychologists about behavioral rules:
- Introduction to the chosen son or daughter … No one, in this case, talks about the need to organize family shows. Dinner will also be inappropriate, as no one is planning to marry love children anytime soon. The best way out of this situation will be an invitation to the house for a tea party, where you should learn the choice of your offspring in a maximum way.
- Introduction to the child’s immediate environment … Wise parents always know with whom their child spends his free time. Teens can be pretty secretive, but with an expert analysis of their behavior, you can easily find out about the teen’s friends. Psychologists advise organizing a party in the house for an important event and inviting your son or daughter to invite their friends to it. However, it would help if you did not curl up like a fox over the guests and only created an uncomfortable situation. With the correct behavior and maximum tact, it is realistic to determine who became a teenager’s friend and even calculate his secret passion.
- Frank talked about the chosen one … If the child liked someone, it means that there was a hook in some quality or behavior. In this case, you can play spy and carefully learn why you choose a teenager. As a result, parents may be afraid to verbally describe the object of passion and adoration in their child’s life. Once the adults have gathered all their will into a fist, they should refrain from making nasty comments about the one declared as the chosen son or daughter.
- Allowing for the right to error … Many people not only learn from their mistakes and reckless behavior but also manage to step on the same rake in the future. Therefore, you should not demand rational decisions from a teenager in love affairs. He is not yet morally ready for a deep analysis of the opposite-sex relationship. However, only with your filled strokes can emotional development begin when you interact with people you like.
- Nostalgia for the parents’ first love … It’s time to talk to your child about what happened years ago before he was born. Without lectures and theories, you should tell him about your first feelings and how they ended. Children like it when adults trust them and show off simultaneously. The teenager will appreciate such openness from their dad or mom and will consult them about their personal life in the future.
- Improving the child’s self-esteem … Must not do this at the expense of his choice, which will lead to the desired result. Wise parents, seeing the apparent error in the selection of their offspring and even some of its danger, will focus on the undoubted advantages of their being. In the future, a teenager can independently understand that his beliefs and principles of life have nothing to do with the worldview of the fan that has appeared.
Adolescent teenage love is an event that few individuals manage to avoid. Therefore, children need to learn from their mistakes in this matter, and adults are encouraged to become wise counselors for the younger generation.