Divorce for a woman; how to survive? Psychology and reasons for breaking up with someone. Behavior after divorce, how a woman can go through such a difficult situation.
Divorce for a woman is tremendous emotional stress that requires the expenditure of all psychological forces to correctly assess the situation and get out of it with the minor damage to health when she has been living with a man for several years; it is not bright at all to be left alone with children in my arms…
The Psychology of Divorce for a Woman
According to the Federal State Statistics Service, in the country, depending on the region, after 5 years of marriage, up to 60% of marriages break up. Not the worst statistic in the world, but somewhat disappointing. So what is the psychology of a woman after a divorce that pushes her to such a step?
Can not rule out a social motive for divorce. Young people born at the end of the last century are now getting married. After the collapse of the Soviet Union, the severely deteriorating economic situation in Russia affected the well-being of many families and children. As they grew up, they began to look for material benefits in the relationship of the sexes. It applies equally to men and women.
The boundaries of public morality have lowered. Prudence became the basis of marriage. Now even the term “nuptial agreement” has appeared. When negotiating terms in the event of a divorce, there are no unnecessary requirements if you have to distribute.
Today we have become easy to connect with the establishment of the family. Divorce is no longer considered by women an extraordinary life event. There was even an expression “to marry.” It is easy, like going to the store to get bread. “I tried it once, and I will try it again. What’s wrong with that? Katka has already married three times, and nothing lives for herself. Am I worse?”
Love has replaced sex. And this is intimacy without responsibility. Fever is characteristic of childhood. Now many perceive their passion as a real relationship and rush to the registry office. And as the passion fades, it turns out they were wrong.
When the husband initiates the divorce, the wife is overwhelmed. She’s depressed; it’s hard. After all, you must be left alone, but what if there are children in your arms? How can it be, because they have to be supported and the pay is low?
And then a problem arises: either turn a blind eye to the husband’s threatening behavior (for example, he is cheating), pretend that nothing happened, and console yourself with what you have to endure for the sake of the children, or suddenly end the relationship.
Not everyone can leave their husband. Here you need to have character and not be afraid of the consequences. After all, you have to raise the children alone; for example, there are no parents, or they do not help. In her judgment, an independent and independent woman is quite capable of doing this.
The third option is to have a frank conversation about fixing the relationship and reconciling. Forgive each other for all small and big sins, and try to learn again how to live together – without lies and deception. If mutual animosity has not gone far, this is quite likely. As you know, hope dies last.
Some women in such situations, especially when they have no children, “go off the rails” and go all over the place – they start walking out of control. However, this is not a way out of the situation; there will be no happiness in such a life, only problems.
It is important to know! Divorce for a woman is not an ordinary event. If it happens, you need to be prepared for it so that “you don’t drop soup with basque shoes” – you are not left without a livelihood and hoping for a new happy life.
Main reasons for divorce in women
The reasons why women initiate divorce vary. However, everyone is disappointed with her husband. Today, female representatives are more independent and do not want to tolerate a man next to them who does not fulfill their life needs.
External reasons that led to divorce can be:
- I want to, but nothing to do with it … The girl is already ripe for an intimate life, but psychologically she is not ready to create a family. There is no idea that this is a great moral responsibility. There is no desire to take care of her husband, children, or order in the house. Love without commitment is much more beautiful. Disagreement starts with the spouse. It comes to divorce. During the trial, such couples often explain that they did not agree by nature; each has a different view of life.
- Liberation … When the sense of independence goes out of scale, “you and I have equal rights, but mine is more ‘equal.'” Such women are rather frivolous about family life. They don’t like housework. They always argue that if her husband starts “running into” her, you can run away in time.
- Disappointment in family life … All plagued by fatigue from relationships. Love is boring, and so is housework. The husband suddenly becomes a burden, she earns good money even without him, and she will be able to support the child herself. He does not understand what is happening with his soul mate and comments to her; she brushes off his reminders. Quarrels start; sooner or later, they lead to divorce.
- Despot in the family … The husband humiliates his wife in every possible way and believes he is the family’s head. If she tries to object, she opens her arms. Due to their nature’s peculiarities, some women endure the humiliation of beatings. It can go on for years, but patience runs out, and they find the strength to leave. And some remain under the heel of the great husband for the rest of their lives. The reasons can be different. Let’s say there is a fear of being left alone with children or there is nowhere to go.
- Husband drinks … It seems sober – good, but as soon as he drinks, he runs out of the house. She endured for a long time and convinced him to stop drinking. When sober, he vows, repenting, that he will no longer look in the glass. But some time passes, and the drinking starts all over again. Conviction does not help but does not want to be manipulated. He does not consider himself an alcoholic. The woman cried all the tears; she had to understand.
- Constantly changing … He found a mistress on the side, or even reached another family, but does not want to go to her. It’s a shame to break up a normal lifestyle, and I don’t want to lose children either. But he does not feel past feelings for his wife, only enough in his brain. She understands this and tolerates it; she is ready to forgive treason and sit down. But all in vain; divorce is inevitable.
- Feelings are gone … Love is hot and passionate. And suddenly, she went somewhere. They became indifferent to each other and started an affair on the side. Only children keep in touch, but now that they are adults, they begin to understand that mom and dad are not doing well. And the couple decided to disperse quietly, peacefully, without traumatizing their children’s psyche. However, there are often a lot of divorces, along with mutual accusations of all the deadly sins.
- Deeply personal … In court, such couples usually hide the reason for the divorce. And the issue is different views on intimate life. He wants a lot, but she doesn’t need it, especially when the children have appeared. There is disharmony in the family; the husband begins to move aside; she sees it and cannot stand it. It comes to divorce.
Divorce is extreme when the couple’s relationship is in trouble. Before deploying, you must try to find a way out of this situation. After all, it was beautiful in life, because of what they fell in love with each other!
How should a woman behave after a divorce?
It was a divorce; how should a woman behave in this case? After all, this is a seriously stressful situation. In terms of influence on the female psyche, it is second only to the death of a loved one. And it is worth putting a lot of effort into getting out of this situation. It is especially difficult for a divorced person if she has children. It is difficult for a single mother to raise children. Not everyone manages to find a decent way out of this situation. Let us consider all these cases in detail.
The behavior of a woman after divorce if there are no children.
Some representatives of the fairer sex confirm the traditional opinion that they are weak: they continue with their negative feelings. They cannot soothe the bitterness of parting with their husband. They have evil over him and try to oppress him. The lonely life of such people turns into a nightmare. The principle of destruction does not paint daily life and kills the personality. The woman turns into a rage – a cruel and cruel hateful man.
Others believe that unexpected freedom is an excuse to start a new life where there are no moral restrictions. And they start looking for adventures, not particularly burdened by relationships with men. It is good if such a loving life ends well. Often she comes with genital diseases, and it also happens that the new boyfriend turns out to be a scoundrel and steals from his “beloved.”
Single women often trust their boyfriends and follow their advice. And they are far from always fair but said on a wave of emotion. Such a “divorce” does not occur in their mind and often falls into disarray and then complains that life did not work out. This kind of self-esteem is wholly underestimated.
It is important to know! The inscription on King Solomon’s ring: “This too shall pass.” Divorce will also go away, but you must live on without negative emotions. And believe that everything in life will work out. You have to want it.
A woman’s behavior after divorce when there are children.
When a woman after a divorce was left with children in her arms, she only thought about how to ensure a tolerable life for her children. Some immediately try to bring another man into the house; they say the children need to be supported, but she is incapable of this. And a “new” dad appears in the place.
Often the mother does not explain this behavior to the children. Do they want to see a new man in the house? He is polite to them, but there is no sense of spiritual unity—a shudder of alienation reigns in such a family. The stepfather’s relationship with the children is not going well; this affects the adult relationship. With a new husband, a woman does not feel happy.
Mom is acting wrong if she doesn’t tell the kids why Dad left the house. Like when they grow up, they will understand. A son or daughter does not understand this; relations in the family can deteriorate so much that the children do not obey and behave very rudely. In such cases, they say, “the kids got out of control.” In that case, at least shout out to your mother.
After a divorce, it is terrible if a woman does not allow her children to meet their father and sets them against him. This behavior does not paint but only creates difficulties in education. In the future, children may well do the same to their mothers. As they say, what I fought for, I found. There are many life cases when adult children, if not with hatred, are so utterly indifferent to their parents.
It is important to know! Children are not negotiable in a woman’s life. You cannot use them for your trading purposes to gain some moment. In the future, this can turn against the mother.
How can a woman survive a divorce?
How to survive after a divorce for a woman worries many female representatives. After a few years of family life, loneliness hits hard. And if there are still children nearby, whom the husband left, not everyone can safely escape such a problematic situation. In this case, it is worth contacting a psychologist; his advice will help you regain confidence in life.
The following expert advice will help a woman survive a divorce:
- It would help if you changed your attitude towards the situation … After a divorce, you can’t be “sour” at your ex and see him as an enemy. You can’t fix what happened; you must take it for granted. You can’t blame the man alone. It is necessary to understand why this happened. Both are to blame for the breakup of the family. Analysis of relationships will help you find the cause of what happened and then forgive a loved one recently. It will help you calm down and make the right decision. All is not lost; life is beautiful and unique, and new unexplored horizons are ahead. Happiness will indeed embrace you!
- Get rid of evil thoughts! A woman after a divorce is stuck on the negative; the mood is gloomy, and negative emotions are off the charts. Ahead is the unhappy prospect of a lonely life when there are no children. But even with them, a woman does not feel a solid male shoulder next to her. In this case, severe stress can develop when a doctor’s help is needed. To prevent this from happening, you must sadly drive it away. For example, wake up in the morning, you should smile and thank God for giving life. “Everything will pass, both sorrow and joy.” It would help if you preserved many of your feelings for good.
- New friends. There was a divorce; what should a woman do so that life does not seem like a pretty penny? How to continue living alone? It would help if you were not left alone with your gloomy thoughts. The wedge is knocked out with a wedge. In this case, friends will be a good “wedge.” It would help if you did not push them away; you need to communicate with them more and spend time on pleasant walks and meetings. It will help ease the pain of separation and loneliness. They say that death is red in the world. It is not at all necessary to die. Still, it is required to appear more often in society, for example, in the theater or sports field. A fun, relaxed atmosphere can help you cope with stressful situations and restore confidence.
- Revenge destroys the psyche … You can’t fixate on divorce; think, “here, I will take revenge on you.” Negative thoughts define evil deeds. Let’s say a woman can turn to a fortune teller to “jinx” her ex-partner. And it’s not even a question of whether it can be harmed or not. It is simply immoral to wish disgusting things on a person. “Do not dig a hole for your neighbor, for you will fall into it.” Don’t forget.
- Do not go to extremes! It would help if you did not panic after the divorce; they say you are alone and urgently need to start a new relationship before it is too late. Such rash thinking is unlikely to be good, as they say, out of the fire and into the fire. The old one has not yet had time to “burn off,” but here is a new connection “to spite him.” As a rule, it is fleeting; it will not bring any good but will further harass the soul. It takes time for passions to cool down, only in balance, when common sense should solve your problems with men.
- Everything is good in moderation … Some women, after a divorce, go straight to work and become a kind of workhorse that pulls the basket of all their worries. With such “selfless” work, they hope to drown the bitterness of divorcing their husband. They don’t take care of themselves; they care for their health. The consequences of this are negative. Work activities should be interspersed with adequate rest periods to relieve extreme fatigue and restore you. Only a healthy, well-groomed, and beautiful woman can find happiness again. We must not forget that men love with their eyes.
- Should not hold emotions back … If divorce has caused a lot of emotions, you should not hold back, but go through them, only not in public, but at home in “proud” solitude. Here you can vent your tears and speak wisely to your ex-husband. Such psychological relaxation will calm your nerves; anxiety will disappear. If this condition is repeated several times, it is already hysteria, an obsessive and painful disorder that requires medical intervention.
- Change your look … Into a new life – with a different image! There is no need to fear this. Different hairstyles, clothes, and other cute tricks will only add charm to the female figure. It will attract the approval of others, improve your mood and give you confidence which is so necessary for such a difficult period of life.
- Caring for our more minor brothers … Some women are saved from loneliness by pets. Caring for them helps to calm the bitterness of parting with a loved one and gives peace of mind.
- Change of place … It’s not wrong to go somewhere for a while after a divorce. For example, relatives in another city. It is better to go on a long trip abroad. Acquaintance with strangers’ countries, customs, and traditions will make an unforgettable trip and help you forget the bitterness of parting with your husband.
- Old stuff to the landfill! It is a tried and tested psychological trick. If we are going to start a new life, it is necessary to get rid of old things that represent the old life. Of course, within reason. First of all, this concerns unnecessary clutter in the apartment. For example, an ashtray was left by her husband; she tells about the many unpleasant things he had to endure with him when he smoked, crumpled a cigarette, and wings over his mother. And what is dear to your heart; let it remind you of the good times in life together.
- Change the interior of the apartment … Renovating is also an excellent way to get rid of bad memories. Fresh design, for example, new wallpaper and tiles in the bathroom, will improve your mood and help you forget about family disputes.
- If possible, you need to change your job … A different environment and new friends will help you survive the divorce and forget the sorrows.
It is important to know! It is worth listening to the advice of an expert, but it is even better to listen to the heart’s voice. Of course, they already have a strong mind, but not under the influence of emotions. After all, a sane person is not the enemy of himself and his life. And then divorce won’t seem like the end of the world.
Divorce is a big blow to the psyche. And if a woman does not lose her head and can survive the stressful situation, everything will work out for her. When emotions lead from the “main” way of life, such “divorced women” life becomes uncomfortable and often meaningless.