Punishment for your child; how to choose the right one? In raising children, various methods are used, interconnected with each other. One of them is punishment. Everything in our article is about how to do it right and when and how to do it without it. Of course, such classification is somewhat arbitrary. Still, this classification, not considered corporal punishment, is used in the modern educational system of children in particular institutions (kindergartens, schools, camps, etc.). And the most important thing here is to choose and apply the proper method of punishment.
Choosing the proper punishment for
As already mentioned, all punishment aims to prevent further unwanted actions and actions of the punished. Therefore, it is essential for the teacher and the parent not to react to the influx of their own emotions. Still, it depends on the ward’s situation, age, and psychological characteristics.
Examples have already been discussed in the previous paragraph.
And now it is worth adding other factors, taking into account, which help to carry out the proper punishment of children:
- The child must clearly understand what he is being punished for.… In addition, there must be a simple logical connection between his offense or fine and the punishment. For example, if you screw it up – take it away. And then do it in another room to respect other people’s work. But here, the question arises: what to do if the child is physically unable to perform the actions that satisfy his offense? It is where the second necessary condition comes from.
- The ratio of physical ability to punishment … It is logical to say that forcing a three-year-old girl or boy to rake leaves on six hectares of land makes no sense. The inability to handle a rake and the lack of strength will only cause frustration and despair for them and the elders – irritation and an additional reason for insults. In such a situation, it is necessary to look for other means to use different methods to punish the child.
- The situation that led to the need for punishment … Many parents, teachers, and educators overlook this aspect very often. As a result, children may receive a disproportionate sentence, or it may be too severe. First of all, everyone is obliged to understand the situation objectively and only collect. For example, a person who has not developed the necessary motor skills cannot be punished for poorly tied shoelaces. Likewise, it would help if you did not punish a child for breaking a cup while trying to extinguish a fire. Even for adult offenders, the concept is mitigating circumstances.
- Timeliness and sequence of actions … Psychologists and teachers say that punishment in many cases should follow immediately after the offense or be completely absent. Of course, a lot here depends on the situation, but you should not punish misconduct after two or three days. It may be better to impose a less severe punishment promptly. It is especially true for young children.
- Characteristics of the child’s character and developmental psychology … When choosing a method of punishment, parents need to consider the nature of their daughter or son so that the punishment process does not develop into a situation of the “who will hit” type. In some cases, you can get the opposite of the desired result. The child will continue to do the same despite the parents or caregivers. And even more severe consequences, up to suicide, can lead to the wrongly chosen punishment if you do not consider age psychology, especially during puberty, when the child’s psyche is exposed to hormones.
It is necessary to clearly understand the limits of what is allowed in punishments to not harm the ward’s psyche (and sometimes body) with his actions and not to lay the foundation for a model of undesirable behavior for him.
The central ban on punishment for your child
When raising a child, you can go too far. This behavior will eventually lead to protests, boycotts, problems with research, or isolation and separation of the child. In addition, the condition will most likely affect his future, and the accumulated complaints will affect his adulthood and even already in his family.
Here’s what to avoid during punishment:
- Humiliation … Psychologists, and teachers unanimously declare that punishing children should in no way belittle their personality.
- Harm to health … In some cases, parents or teachers (teachers) may not beat but use other influences on the child: forcing him to crouch or push him off the floor, touching him in one way or another with cold water, and even putting him on his knees in a corner. It must remember that all this, except humiliation, can cause severe injury and illness. And there will be no question of any educational effect here.
- Punishment for multiple offenses at the same time … As a rule, the following points should be taken: one crime – one punishment. Even hardened criminals serving sentences under several articles at once are imprisoned for as long as the most serious of them indicates.
- Punish children, especially teenagers, in public … At this vulnerable age, a public display of moral or physical superiority by an adult, even a parent, can cause psychological trauma to a child and have irreversible negative consequences for him in a peer group. This rule should be remembered not only by parents but also by teachers and educators.
- Abnormal abolition of punishment … One must always show consistency and firmness: there is a decision to punish – it is necessary to carry it out. Otherwise, there is a risk of losing credibility with all the consequences. Children value justice in both rewards and retribution.
In addition, you should not use bans and punishments on the child to take revenge, “just in case,” succumb to your emotions and mood. We must not forget the presumption of innocence. It applies to everyone. It is not recommended to practice this method as the only training method. It would help if you never forgot about the presentation.
As you can see, punishment for your child is not easy. And besides, you need to punish correctly and follow the correct line of behavior after that.
How to behave with a child during parenting time
In pedagogy, there are terms such as “power of power” and “power of power.” They are closely related and play a vital role in education. Children will listen to and respect what they perceive to be leaders. In their understanding, the leader must be strong.
Through appropriate encouragement and punishment, the grown man shows his inner strength. At this moment, the authority acts on the child. But later, there will be no need to apply it as the adult will enjoy the power.
For the image of a fair and strong-willed person not to disappear, it is necessary to choose the right line of behavior after punishment.
- The child’s punishment in the family must be unanimous. That is, one parent should not override the other’s decisions.
- You cannot stop your decision immediately, so to speak, after the judgment is pronounced. Otherwise, children do not believe in the seriousness of adults’ intentions. It builds confidence that you can pull it off.
- It must remember that if punished, the child has already answered for his offense, which means he is forgiven. And it is no longer possible to recall the past in a negative context. Otherwise, it will look like a complete mess. But this is not an enemy, but a child.
So all of the above suggests that punishment is a responsible and challenging measure, requiring balance and competence. Moreover, you should only use it if nothing else works.
The punishment for your child in a family, kindergarten, or school must be fair, timely, and adequate for the offense, not contrary to the standards of public morality and the law. But before sentencing, adults must study all the subtleties of the circumstances and circumstances in which they committed the offense. In this case, it is necessary to consider a particular child’s age and physical and psychological characteristics. During the punishment, there should be no humiliation of the person. As for corporal punishment, this method should be used in education as an exception and only when it is impossible to control others.